


Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?

by taeyoooooong



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Acceptance, Best Friends, Canon Compliant, Coming Out, Consensual Sex, Consent is Sexy, Cuddling & Snuggling, Cute Na Jaemin, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Falling In Love, Feelings Realization, Fluff, Getting Together, I forgot how to tag, Lee Jeno is Whipped, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Sexual Tension, Sweet Lee Jeno, Thirsting, a lot of it, also note that in this fic that they are twenty considering korean age, dreamies ensemble, hahahahah a bunch of nonsense, he's an unreliable narrator, it's the idol life babey, jeno is thirsty lmaooo, jeno's just dense, kind of, like how he actually is in real life lol, lots of introspection, no actual plot tho, oh wait i almost forgot, ok lets go, ooooops, renjun's a good bro, so is donghyuck, so no they are nOT having underage sex, takes place in june of 2019 all the way to december lolllll, this entire fic is just jeno panicking and loving jaemin, um they fight a little but they make up, ummmm, with a mention of 127 and wayv
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:55:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23208097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taeyoooooong/pseuds/taeyoooooong
Summary: Rule number one of your teenage years is to not fall in love with your best friend. Jeno fails. Horribly. Rookie mistake.alternatively:In which Jeno falls in love with his best friend Jaemin—or just realizes he has anyway. Jeno’s a bit dense like that.
Relationships: Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Comments: 36
Kudos: 336





	Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?

Jeno falls in love on a Sunday afternoon.

Well, at least, he thinks so, anyways.

It’s actually more of a realization than the actual _falling in love_ maybe. Perhaps.

It’s three-thirty in the afternoon on a nice June day and it’s hot as balls but Jaemin is still draped over him as practice just about wraps up.

“Jeno, this may be our worst decision yet.”

“ _Our?_ Since when did I agree to anything?”

“The moment you sat next to me on the bus to class.”

Jeno hums. “I guess that’s fair enough. Anyways, what were you going on about?”

“We should raise a plant together.”

Jeno pauses, and narrows his eyes. “What?”

“Are you listening? I said we should raise a plant together.”

Jeno nearly laughs at how ridiculous Jaemin is being, but no, he’s mature and he can talk this out.

That lasts for four seconds before Jeno starts cackling and Jaemin starts glaring at him furiously.

“Asshole.”

“No, nothing’s wrong with that, it’s just—pfffft. You looked so serious, I thought something bad happened.”

His best friend huffs, and elbows him in the stomach. Jeno suppresses a grunt and cuffs his ear. “Okay, _fine._ Go on.”

“Well, I want to raise a plant. And actually, not kill it this time. So, I’m going to need your help.”

“Why me of all people? Renjun is by far the most responsible out of all of us.”

“Hey, you’re my best friend. Whatever happened to, being your _precious_ friend?”

“Oh, I hate you. With a passion.”

Jaemin snickers, and continues to scroll through Kakaotalk, and Jeno sees _all_ of the ignored messages from the hyungs and Renjun and Donghyuck. Oh, Jaemin’s _screwed._

He sees Jaemin shoot off a message to Mark-hyung, something about teasing him for not being in NCT Dream’s only English song (Fireflies was arguably the hardest song to record, especially without Mark-hyung.) It’s kind of funny, actually. Jeno wishes Mark was there to laugh about it with them.

Jeno has half a mind to pull out his own phone to start replying to his members. He pointedly ignores Jisung because _that fucking brat stole his shoes again,_ and sends hearts to Chenle because _wow, he has such a soft spot for him_ , and finally sends a middle finger to Donghyuck before sending kisses.

Yes, Lee Jeno sucked ass at texting and he was _damn_ proud of it.

Jeno clears out message by message and stops at Jaemin’s contact at the very top. Jaemin’s profile picture is a picture of him all close up to the camera. Jeno can perfectly see the dip of his cupid’s bow, and he can perfectly count every pretty eyelash on Jaemin’s eye.

Pretty? Did he just say pretty? Why did he say pretty? What he meant was handsome. Pretty handsome. Pretty.

“Anyways, whaddya say?”

Jaemin’s sudden words jolt him out of his daydream. “Well, I can’t really say no, can I?”

He nods cheerfully. “Nope!”

Jaemin shifts in his hold, head now pillowed on Jeno’s chest. Jeno’s heart flips and his ears turn red only the slightest.

_Ba-dump. Ba-dump. Ba-dump ba-dump ba-dump ba-dump—_

“—no? Jeno? Hey, um?”

“Oh, yeah! Sorry, sorry.”

Jaemin rolls his eyes. “You know, I was going on about how I was going to cook for you after we went plant shopping, but it’s okay. You weren’t listening.”

“No! I was listening. Please cook for me, we know Renjun hates me and he won’t do it for me.”

“Uh huh, like I actually _like_ you. Weird ass.”

Jeno scoffs. “Okay, well, you decided you still wanted to be friends with me. And okay, I’m not the weird one. Must I remind you about that time where you—”

“Okay! I’m sorry. Please, just, don’t ever bring that up again.”

“Oh, and how you flirted with the staff to—”

“Lee Jeno. I am _so_ going to starve you to death.”

Jeno relents and shoots him an annoyed look. “Please. You would never. So, in conclusion, if you want that plant, feed me.”

With a shake of his head, Jaemin pinches his ear. “Fine. I will. But _I_ get to pick our plant. And name it.”

“Name it, wha—you know what? Sure, sure.”

Jaemin’s mood changes from bothered to cheerful in a span of two seconds and actually bounces in glee as a wide smile blooms across his face (wow, he hasn’t seen such a smile from Jaemin in a while). His perfect face.

His perfect, and unbelievably pretty face.

Oh, and wow, his eyes are sparkling.

Hm, Jaemin’s saying something, his lips are moving.

Huh, he has nice lips.

Jeno would like to touch them. Or kiss them.

Wait.

_Ba-dump. Ba-dump. Ba-dump ba-dump ba-dump—_

“Jeno, are you okay? You’re awfully spacey today.”

“No, I…I’m okay.”

Jaemin frowns. “You’re sure? You know, this dance is awfully tiring…I didn’t expect it to be that hard and you have quite a few centers.”

Jeno offers him a smile as best as he can, and he knows he’s not fooling Jaemin.

They weren’t best friends of seven years for nothing.

Nonetheless, Jaemin does him a solid and chooses to ignore him. Jaemin turns back to his phone, and continues to look at animal videos.

Meanwhile, Jeno is busy looking at him.

He’s looking at the way Jaemin’s eyes crinkle as he grins at a tiny kitten, or the way Jaemin’s mouth stretches so wide as he laughs over a rabbit. He’s looking at the way Jaemin’s cheeks have a cute rosy tint to them after just laughing himself silly.

And Jeno’s confused now, because really, has he ever seen his best friend like this? Has his best friend always just looked like this? Why did he just realize it now when they were both covered in sweat and smelled like actual donkey’s ass? Honestly, he’s always seen Na Jaemin as a tall and gangly boy with noodles for arms and doll-like eyes. A cute and boyish face like all the others did at their age.

But now Jeno can’t help but notice the development and think he’s the most breathtaking person Jeno had ever seen.

(Jeno’s wrong though. He’s always seen the beauty in the way Jaemin moves, in the way Jaemin talks, in the way Jaemin smiles, and in the way Jaemin lives.)

Maybe it’s always been there. Perhaps.

Maybe he’s always been in love with Na Jaemin.

But Jeno’s not thinking about that anymore.

He’s thinking about how it’s four-fifteen in the afternoon and how Jaemin’s body is nestled close to his body and how he’s fallen just a little in love, toeing the shoreline and just barely crossing over into the sea.

* * *

Jeno wonders how he never noticed it before.

Because oh _god,_ does Jeno notice it now.

Every single time Jaemin hugs him, every single time Jaemin smiles at him, every single time Jaemin just acts like Jaemin, Jeno’s heart screams.

“Jaemin-ah, what are you doing…?”

“Spending time with my plant! Jeno-yah, come!”

Jeno sighs, and ultimately questions why _he_ is the idiot Jeno’s chosen.

“Um, why are you spending time with the plant?”

“Her name is Cotton.”

He resists the urge to pinch his nose bridge. “Cotton?”

“I thought it was funny since she’s a cactus.”

“Of course you did.”

Jaemin gives him an indignant look. “Jeno-yah, you’re an asshole. You never like when I buy things. You make fun of my things. Poor Buntaengi. Poor all of my plushies that have fallen victim to your teasing. Poor—”

“Okay, okay! I’m sorry.”

Jeno sighs and curses his weak disposition and his soft spot for his best friend. Jeno will never understand why Jaemin makes him so soft. Jaemin’s annoying more often than not, but despite that Jeno will always love him and he knows Jaemin knows that.

“Well…what do you want me to do about it?”

“I don’t know. It’s a nice cactus, though. Her flowers are quite pretty.”

 _Like you_ , Jeno almost says. But he catches himself and banishes the thought from his head.

“Yeah, I guess.”

Jaemin sends him a look out of the corner of his eye. “Lee Jeno, if you don’t stop being an ass, I’m going to unfriend you.”

“You can’t.”

“Sure, I can.”

“Nuh uh.”

“Yuh huh.”

“Nuh uh.”

“Yuh huh.”

Jeno raises an eyebrow, and Jaemin turns away. “I can’t,” he moans miserably. Jaemin flops down onto his bunk dramatically, and out of pity, Jeno follows. Because, well, that’s what best friends are for. When one does stupid shit, the other follows. Jeno and Jaemin know this is simply just protocol.

Maybe that’s why they were scolded so often as trainees. Jeno can’t count how many times they snuck out to get fried chicken at two in the morning just because Jaemin had the munchies.

Jaemin rolls to his side to face Jeno, and Jeno does the same. (He ignores how close they are and how he can see Jaemin’s beautiful eyes up close.)

“I couldn’t.”

“I know.”

Jeno knows. As much as Jeno does love Jaemin, he knows Jaemin loves him right back just as furiously. (Maybe not in the way he wants.)

Jaemin is much more verbose than he is. And Jeno’s reminded of that every time Jaemin whispers an ‘I love you’ or some words of affection towards Jeno.

“I hate you. So whiny.”

“I know.”

Yeah, Jeno knows that too. Jeno is a big and whiny baby, but he’s Jaemin’s big and whiny baby.

“God, you ugly kid. You’re so annoying.”

Jeno hums. “I know.”

Jeno knows he isn’t ugly, but he’s willing to indulge Jaemin. It’s what is so Jeno about him.

The fact that he loves so deeply.

“Jeno-yah.”

“Mm?”

“Do you like my plant?”

Jeno nods earnestly. He likes anything connected to Jaemin, really. “Yes.”

Jaemin seems pleased, and smiles. His hands come up to squish Jeno’s cheeks together. “Good. Otherwise, I’d make you eat it.”

Jeno snorts, and Jaemin hits his chest while laughing.

And only then does Jeno realize he’s breaching the edge of the vast ocean just a little more.

* * *

Jeno has bad nights. Often.

It’s not uncommon that he’ll have dreams about his life. NCT failing, his fans leaving him, his members falling ill or getting hurt.

There’s been a few times where he’d pictured his little Jisung (not that Jeno would ever say that out loud, of course) getting hurt. The next day Jeno would treat him a little more gently just so Jisung knows he loves him. (Oh, Jisung definitely knows. He loves his Jeno-hyung right back.)

Sometimes, it’s his hyungs. And oh, does that hurt. It hurts seeing Doyoung-hyung or Jaehyun-hyung or Taeyong-hyung be upset and so down. So he sucks up his pride and sends them a little sticker on Kakaotalk. The words of affection he gets back is always the best part. (Although, Johnny-hyung does like to laugh at him before sending hearts.)

But Jaemin falling ill or getting hurt is by far _the worst._

Deep down inside, Jeno knows Jaemin will be okay. He’s one of the strongest people he knows. He’d already suffered a herniated disk at only sixteen and came out stronger than ever.

But there is always a tiny fear that eats at Jeno’s chest and makes Jeno wake up in a cold sweat every now and then. It’s irrational and immature, but this is Jaemin he’s talking about.

This is his best friend.

It’s these nights where Jeno likes to drop his act and find comfort in his best friend. He’s lucky that Jisung isn’t in the room (for whatever reason), and he’s free to pad in quietly.

Jaemin shifts, and opens his eyes. “Jeno-yah?”

“Jaemin-ah…I…”

Jaemin’s eyes soften. “Bad night?”

Jeno nods sheepishly. Jaemin beckons him towards his bunk, and Jeno climbs in gratefully. Usually Jaemin likes to cuddle into him but Jeno just needs to hear his best friend alive. And Jaemin indulges him, he loves to coddle him.

Jeno rests his head on his chest, ear against Jaemin’s heartbeat.

_Thump. Thump. Thump._

“What’s wrong, Jeno-yah?”

Jeno doesn’t like talking about his dreams. He thinks it’s stupid. But it’s Jaemin, and Jeno can never deny anything to Jaemin for too long. He takes a deep breath, trying to steel his voice, only to weakly mutter out his answer.

“Lost you.”

He hears Jaemin sigh, and feels a hand stroke his hair. “Not gonna lose me. I’m going to annoy your ass for the rest of your sorry life.”

Although Jaemin makes it seem bad, Jeno wouldn’t trade anything in the world. He would let Jaemin annoy him twenty-four-seven as long as he was always by his side. Jeno’s secretly a sap.

“You’re going to wish I left you.”

Flashes of his dream plague his mind. And uncharacteristically, he whimpers. Jeno would normally be embarrassed to the point of no return, but the thought of Jaemin not being in his life—god, he can’t handle it.

“No, Jeno, I didn’t mean…no.”

A gentle hand runs through his hair, unraveling knots and massaging his scalp. Jeno briefly hears a soft and familiar melody being hummed into the quietness of the dorms (the trainee days were rough on them all.) Jeno relishes in the feeling of warmth and the feeling of comfort Jaemin’s scent gives him.

_This is home this is home this is home this is home—_

Jeno’s grip tightens around Jaemin’s body, and Jaemin doesn’t complain. Instead, he gives an amused huff and kisses Jeno on the top of his head. (Jeno ignores the way it makes his face feel hot and the way it makes him hug Jaemin a little more. Jeno is strong. Jeno is resilient. He refuses to fall.)

Jaemin doesn’t say it.

He doesn’t have to.

_I’m never leaving you._

Jeno knows.

* * *

“Hyung.”

Jeno tears his eyes away from his phone, and sees Chenle standing in front of him. “Hm?”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Okay, sure. Sit down.”

Chenle sits down in front of him, and looks him in the eye. “Hyung. How do you know if you love someone?”

Jeno pauses. “What?”

“How do you know if you love someone?”

Jeno actually has to think for a second. He finds that he doesn’t know. But he can’t let his precious Lele go without an answer, so being the best hyung he can, he tries to answer.

“Well, Lele, I think it’s different for everyone,” he starts off, not really sure how to put it into words.

“You might look at their smile one day, and something may just click. Or you’ll be talking to them and you feel something warm in your chest and you feel home.”

Chenle nods, and Jeno can see he’s hooked on Jeno’s every word. Jeno feels like he’s projecting now.

“Or…someday you’ll be with that person and you just feel…you just feel that it’s right. It’s…meant to be that way. It’s meant to be love.”

“Hyung, where did you learn this?”

“I…read it somewhere.”

Chenle looks like he doubts him, but chooses not to say anything. “Well, thanks, hyung.”

“Wait, Chenle. Why do you ask?”

Chenle suddenly fidgets. “No reason, hyung. Just curious.”

Yeah, and Jeno’s name wasn’t Lee Jeno. Jeno basically raised Chenle. He knows his mannerisms. He knows everything about his little brother.

But because Chenle has generously spared him from explaining where he got all his romantic expertise from, Jeno decides to be nice.

“Right then.”

Chenle makes eye contact with him. Jeno knows they both know. And it goes with tacit understanding that there’s no more to be said and Chenle races back into his room to play with Jisung.

“Jeno-yah. What was that about?”

Jeno shrugs. “No idea. Just Chenle.”

“Well, yeah, I have eyes. But what were you guys talking about?”

“Nothing. Well, nothing important anyways.”

Jeno hopes that Chenle is grateful for what he’s doing. If Jaemin ever finds out, Jaemin will _not_ stop harassing the poor boy.

“You’re hiding something from me.”

Of course, of course Jaemin knows. Jaemin knows all his mannerisms. Jaemin knows everything about his best friend.

“Jaemin, it’s really nothing. I swear.”

Jaemin is still skeptical, but he trusts Jeno blindly. He lets it go. Instead, he drops onto the couch next to Jeno and turns on the TV. They semi-watch a program on the TV, dozing in and out. It’s a lazy summer afternoon, they have a day off from practice which they’re grateful for.

Jaemin’s head is resting on his shoulder and Jeno now feels complete.

“Jeno-yah.”

“Yeah?”

Jaemin sniffs, and burrows closer to Jeno. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

Jeno knows he’s talking about last night. It’s okay. Yeah, it’s okay.

Jeno doesn’t need to say anything back for Jaemin to know he’s thankful. A simple squeeze of his hand is enough.

Even after Jeno stops squeezing, neither of them can make themselves let go.

It feels right—Jaemin’s fingers laced with Jeno’s.

It feels so incredibly _right._

And Jeno finally crashes into the deep end, headfirst into the waves—deeply and madly in love.

_Oh, how the mighty fall._

* * *

They fight.

It’s not normal banter or their usual teasing.

It’s actual fighting.

Of course, which pair of friends isn’t bound to fight after being together for so long?

Jeno hates it. Jaemin does too.

It’s always something stupid, because if it was actually a serious problem, they wouldn’t be fighting over it.

This time, it’s about how Jeno’s too laidback and Jaemin needs to get off his back about doing stuff. They’re both tired from taking care of the kids and practicing for the comeback. They’re not themselves.

They usually don’t like to fight unless they’re alone but this time it’s in front of their members. They’re too tired to care about anything else.

“Jeno, can you help me with this?”

“Yeah, yeah. In a minute.”

Jaemin, annoyed already because he usually gets dance moves really quickly, glares. “Jeno, I’m asking for right now.”

Jeno, tired as fuck because he’d stayed up the day prior to clean up his own dance moves, isn’t putting up with that attitude. “Well, I said in a minute.”

The other members look on because they know they’ll just end up laughing at each other anyways.

That doesn’t happen.

“Jeno, can you just help? The comeback is soon.”

“Jaemin, I’m _tired._ Give me a minute.”

“There is no time for breaks, Jeno, you know that.”

Jeno scoffs. “Give me a break, Jaemin.”

Jaemin glares at him even harder. Jeno’s beginning to feel annoyed.

“Jeno. Stop _slacking._ ”

The members are worriedly looking at them now. Renjun looks ready to tear them apart if he needs to.

Jeno shoots up. “Well, you know, maybe if _you_ didn’t slack, you wouldn’t be needing help! Get off my back!”

Jaemin shifts so he’s facing Jeno. His face is unusually mad. “Jeno, haven’t you considered that I’m tired too? Maybe get off your ass once in a while and do things for yourself!”

Jeno actually scowls at him, and oh, his members do not like that look. Chenle and Jisung have never seen that look on his face before.

“Shut up, Jaemin. It’s _definitely_ not like you boss me around to do things for you or anything.”

 _“_ Asshole. I have a fucking _back_ problem.”

“That’s fucking _healed._ ”

They’re shouting now. Donghyuck actually looks worried.

“Yeah, like you’re my doctor! It still hurts, dumbass!”

“Then take a break! I don’t know what’s your problem! Get. Off. My. Back!”

Jaemin narrows his eyes. “You know what? I’m done, Lee Jeno. Fuck you.”

Jeno scoffs. “Fine, be like that. Fuck off.”

Jaemin angrily packs his stuff while Jeno packs his. Jeno’s aware off the other members trying to talk to them, but Jeno shoves them off. Jaemin does the same.

“H-hyung, we still have practice!”

Jaemin scoffs. “Tell that to Jeno over there. Oh, no, sorry, he’s too tired to continue.”

“It’s because I actually finished learning the dance. Na Jaemin, you can shut up.”

Jaemin stalks off, and Jeno snarls at him. It’s not like any of them to be that way; it’s not like any of them to get mad, much less get mad at each other.

It’s probably their worst fight yet.

Chenle is about to yank them back together, but Renjun holds him back and shakes his head. Jeno’s grateful for him.

Dinner is…weird.

The other members aren’t used to it being so quiet. Jeno and Jaemin never fight, or, in front of them at least. It’s weird seeing them sit next to each other but ignoring the other and pretending they didn’t exist.

Jeno knows it’s petty, and Jaemin does too.

But petty is their middle name.

The tension is still thick between them by the time dinner is over, and the two of them retire to their separate rooms.

It’s awfully empty, Jeno notices. It’s awfully empty without Jaemin.

Jeno lies on his bed, facing his ceiling. He’s glad Chenle is still outside because he’d hate for him to see him like this. Jeno looks absolutely pathetic.

He hates being mad. And he hates being mad at Jaemin even more. Heck, he doesn’t even know why he’s mad, and that makes him even more mad.

He doesn’t know why he snapped at Jaemin.

God, it was so stupid. But after all, he and Jaemin were teenagers, and if their middle names weren’t already ‘petty’, it’d definitely be ‘stupid’.

Jeno knows Jaemin still needs some time to calm down. Jeno does too. He knows they’ll make up eventually because they’ve had worse fights than this, but nonetheless the fights still hurt. The words said and received still hurt.

Jaemin doesn’t mean what he says.

And neither does Jeno.

Even after all the introspection (which doesn’t make him feel better at all), Jeno huffs, and turns on his side.

There’s still no Jaemin.

He takes a bit longer to fall asleep. 

Jeno reckons it’s three in the morning when he hears the door creak open. He cracks an eye open to peer at Chenle. He’s fast asleep with his mouth wide open and drool probably running down his chin, so it isn’t him sneaking out for food.

When a body slips into his bed, he knows it’s Jaemin. He’s familiar with this routine. Every fight has always ended like this.

But this time, something’s wrong. Jeno can feel it. He can feel it in the way Jaemin crawls into his bed and he can feel it in the way Jaemin is silent.

He feels a wetness on his arm and then his arms are immediately wrapped around Jaemin.

“Oh, Jaemin, why are you crying?”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he sobs. Jeno feels a twang of guilt. Maybe he should’ve said something earlier.

“No, don’t be sorry. It’s not your fault.”

Jaemin still sobs into his shirt regardless of what he’s saying. Jeno feels more terrible by the second.

“Jaemin, please, don’t cry. I’m sorry, I should’ve said something earlier.”

Jaemin is still blubbering into his shirt as Jeno sits up and brings him up with him. Gently, he cradles Jaemin to his chest and rubs his back.

Jeno knows how to comfort him. (Jeno still remembers even after their days of sobbing on the bathroom floor together after a bad evaluation along with the fear of being booted from the company were done.)

“Jeno, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean any of it. I know you work hard; you probably work the hardest! And I love cooking for you, I love spending time with you, I love babying you because I know you like it even though you say you don’t!”

Jeno laughs softly, and shushes him. “I know, Nana. I know. I’m sorry too. I don’t mind doing things for you at all.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m just so tired and stressed and worried, I just haven’t been myself, and I never meant to snap at you, and you didn’t deserve it because I’m not the only one who’s—”

Jeno gently shushes him again; partly because it wasn’t necessary for him to say and partly because he’s probably going to wake up Chenle if he gets any louder. He keeps his voice gentle and soothing, which has always been Jaemin’s thing, but right now he has to try.

“Nana, I know. I know, you’re tired. I’m sorry for saying all those mean things to you earlier. I know you didn’t deserve it. I’m so sorry, Nana. Please forgive me.”

“I forgive you! I forgive you! Please, please, don’t be sad, I’m sorry!”

Jeno sighs softly, still rubbing Jaemin’s back. Jeno knows he’s still insecure about his back injury and wondering if he works hard enough to be on par with all the other members. Jeno feels like trash for even letting the words gather in his mind, much less saying them out loud.

“I’m not mad, Nana. I could never be mad at you.”

Jaemin is never this nonsensical. He’s very headstrong and strong-willed; nothing will get through his thick skull that easily. He must be so upset and scared—about what, Jeno doesn’t know (although he has a hunch.) But for now, all Jeno can do is hold him and hope he’s alright.

Jaemin is still crying. And he’s going to wake up Chenle and the last thing Jeno wants to deal with his a grumpy Chenle.

He decides to scoop up Jaemin, and carry him out into the common area. He sets him on a chair, and grabs a few blankets and pillows. Jeno flips out the sofa bed, and arranges the pillows and blankets the best he can on the small little area. Jeno sits on the bed, and holds his hands out for Jaemin. Jaemin quickly barrels back into his arms, and Jeno lays them down.

His cries are quieter now and his breathing is much more even. Guilt is still running through Jeno’s veins.

Jaemin sniffs. “Don’t feel bad, please.”

“I don’t…”

“You’re lying. I’m sorry I’m like this—I’m just feeling a lot of things right now. I don’t feel like me.”

Jeno hums. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s…it’s a lot of things. I don’t think I can tell them to you right now.”

“That’s okay. You can tell me when you’re ready.”

But really, deep inside, Jeno thinks he knows.

It’s summer of 2019. It’s their last year with Dream. It’s their last year being secure.

Donghyuck has NCT 127.

Renjun has WayV.

And all Jeno and Jaemin have are each other. And maybe that’ll change too.

(He hates that being separated from Jaemin is a possibility.)

But it’s the idol life. It’s what he chose when he joined the company at age twelve along with another strange boy named Jaemin. They knew what was in for them.

Truthfully, Jeno is afraid. Really afraid.

Jaemin shifts in his arms, and Jeno shakes himself back into reality.

“Jeno-yah…”

“Mhm?”

“You’re…you’re not going to…leave me, right?”

Jeno’s hit the nail straight on. (Of course he has. When it comes to Jaemin, he’s an expert.)

“No. Wouldn’t ever dream of it.”

“Promise?”

Jeno laughs, and hooks his pinky with Jaemin’s, touching their thumbs together to seal the deal. “Promise.”

Jaemin somehow is reassured by this, which Jeno thinks is cute.

“Good night, then, Jeno.”

“Good night.”

Jeno falls asleep within minutes, keeping Jaemin’s wish in mind.

The next morning, when the smell of pancakes and eggs still waft through the air—dorm now devoid of Donghyuck, Renjun, Chenle, and Jisung (who probably are the ones who draped a blanket soundly over them and rearranged their pillows)—Jeno keeps his promise, continuing to hold Jaemin tight and doesn’t let go.

* * *

“Kids, what do you guys want for dinner?”

Jisung and Chenle shrug. “Whatever you cook is good, hyung.”

Renjun nods in agreement as he turns a page in his book. “I’m with the kids.”

Donghyuck is away with the 127 hyungs for tonight, so his input won’t be needed.

“Jeno-yah, anything you want?”

“No…”

Jaemin shakes his head. “Egg fried rice with soy bean paste it is.”

Jaemin knows him too well.

“Jeno, come on! You eat that all the time.”

“Well, it’s good, so why wouldn’t I?”

Jaemin waves his hand at Renjun. “It’s almost the day for Boom to be released. We all need to eat well for our promotions. Simply, this is just what Jeno wants and you guys didn’t say anything.”

Jeno watches Jaemin flit around the kitchen as he starts to cook.

When he focuses, Jaemin’s tongue pokes out of his lips just a tiny bit. Jeno thinks he looks like a cute little kitten. And Jeno really likes kittens.

Jeno really likes Jaemin too.

When Jaemin is finished cooking, all the boys are drooling and ready to eat at the dinner table. Well, so much for complaining. Humph. Jaemin makes it for him, and only him.

And he’s right.

Because when Jaemin brings over the large bowl and takes his usual spot next to Jeno, he grabs a spoonful and holds it up to Jeno’s lips.

It’s a rule that they have, a solemn oath they took back in middle school; whenever Na Jaemin makes his special egg fried rice with soy bean paste, Lee Jeno will always, _always_ get the first bite.

Jeno normally would complain about it, because he doesn’t like to be fed. But this tradition is one that Jeno isn’t willing to let go.

So he opens his mouth and savors the wonderful and homey taste of Jaemin’s cooking.

Chenle and Jisung groan. “Hyung, aren’t you too big for that?”

“You’re never too big to get babied by Jaemin. You boys should know that.”

Jeno knows Jisung and Chenle love when Jaemin babies them. They grew up rather quickly, so Jaemin is the closest thing they have to a parental figure as their families live miles and miles away.

And honestly, Jeno doesn’t mind it either. Jaemin likes to care for people, so Jeno doesn’t really bother him all that much. If anything, it endears Jaemin even more to him.

“Jaemin-ah, thank you.”

Jaemin grins at him, and claps his hands together. “Let’s eat!”

As usual, they all enjoy Jaemin’s cooking. Really, Jeno doesn’t know where he learned to cook like that—Jaemin’s been stuck with him for a huge part of his life so Jeno would know when he had the time to learn how to cook.

Maybe Jaemin was just born like that, automatically talented at everything. It explained a lot.

“Is it good?”

They all nod while still stuffing food in their mouths. Jeno finishes first, and starts to clean up around the kitchen. Jaemin and Renjun finish next, assisting him by wiping down counter tops. Chenle and Jisung pile their dishes in the sink and leave.

“Those kids drive me insane.”

Renjun huffs a laugh, and finishes washing the dishes. “Well, you guys are in charge. Your fault.”

He leaves without another word, and Jeno and Jaemin stare at him in disbelief.

“It’s…it’s our fault?”

Jaemin crosses his arms. “Well, I’ll be damned. After raising the kids all these years, this is what we get.”

In this moment, Jaemin looks like a mom.

And Jeno can’t hold it anymore. He laughs.

Jaemin stares incredulously at him, but he still continues to laugh. Jeno laughs and laughs until his stomach hurts and until he has to lean against the counter for support. Only then does he stop laughing.

“Well, I mean…you do remind me of a mom.”

“Oh, very funny. You know, you’d be a terrible father.”

Jeno scoffs. “I’ll have you know I’d be a very good father. Jisung and Chenle did say that we were the mom and dad after all.”

Jaemin pauses. “That’s…that’s right. They did say that.”

“Well, Na Jaemin, it’s an honor to be a co-parent with you.”

Jaemin chuckles, and shakes Jeno’s hand. “Pleasure, Lee Jeno.”

Jeno gives him a tiny smile, and for a moment, something flashes across Jaemin’s face. It’s unreadable. Strange, strange, strange. Jeno knows his everything. It’s a tiny detail that bothers him just a tiny bit, but if Jeno’s allowed his secrets then Jaemin is too.

“Hey, come on. Wanna watch Love Alarm with me?”

Jaemin relaxes, and smiles. “Sure.”

Jaemin tugs him into his room, and they fall onto the bed. Jeno’s head ends up in his lap, and Jaemin’s hand is threading through his hair. Jeno is barely paying attention to the drama now, and can only focus on Jaemin’s presence.

He smells like his lemon shampoo and lavender body wash. Jeno smiles, and breathes in even deeper. There’s still a faint linger of dinner, and a tiny bit of sweat, but Jeno doesn’t mind because it is Jaemin.

Jaemin’s hand stops to cradle his face, grazing his cheekbone with his thumb before resuming the calming motions in his hair.

Jeno feels safe.

He is home.

* * *

“We have ice cream!”

It’s late afternoon in the 127 dorms. The hyungs know the comeback is upon them, three days to be exact, so they invited them over for some fun. WayV is crashing over too, but it took them a significant amount of work to get there.

The kids cheer, since it’s _way_ too hot not to have ice cream.

“Okay, here you go guys. Knock yourselves out.”

Jeno grabs a chocolate flavored bar and cheers inside. It’s his favorite. He’s about to unwrap his and shove it in his mouth when he sees discomfort in Jaemin’s eyes.

He’s holding a bar of ice cream with a pink wrapper.

Oh no. Strawberry.

Jaemin wasn’t allergic, per se, but the artificial flavoring never sat right in his stomach. So, Jaemin always avoided it.

Personally, Jeno thought it was a little picky, but well, what could he do about it?

“Jaemin-ah? What’s wrong?” Jaehyun asks.

“Oh, I just got strawberry. It’s not my favorite.”

Jeno moves from his spot on the couch to sit next to Jaemin. “Here, Jaemin-ah. Take mine. I know you like the chocolate one.”

Ignoring Jaemin’s protests, he yanks the strawberry bar out of Jaemin’s hands and places his bar in place of it. Before Jaemin can swipe it back, Jeno takes a bite out of it. “Mmmmm. Delicious.”

Jeno actually likes strawberry too, so really, it’s a fair trade.

“Jeno-yah, you can’t just do that. What if I wanted the strawberry today?”

“Well, I know you, and you never want strawberry. So, bleh.”

Jaemin shakes his head, but still gratefully pats his shoulder. “Well, thank you then.”

“No problem.”

They eat ice cream in relative peace, with only a few incidents of Donghyuck getting ice cream smeared over his face and Kun-hyung sighing in disappointment from across the room.

“Jaemin-ah.”

“Mm?”

“How’s your plant doing?”

“Cotton? She’s doing amazing! I’m honestly a little surprised she’s still alive.”

Jeno snorts. “I’m surprised too. I think it’s a new record. A month, I reckon?”

“No, almost two.”

Jeno hums. “Wow.”

“Hmph, and you said it wouldn’t last.”

“Well, I certainly stand corrected, don’t I?”

Jaemin pouts slightly, and Jeno’s stomach does a weird little thing. “I’m a little hurt that you didn’t trust me.”

“You didn’t even trust yourself.”

He instantly brightens. “Oh yeah.”

Jeno rolls his eyes (albeit a little fondly), and pinches Jaemin’s cheek. Jaemin grins widely, and nuzzles his cheek against Jeno’s. It’s a little annoying since they’re both really sweaty from the sweltering heat and a little sticky due to the ice cream but it’s Jaemin.

It’s so painfully Jaemin that Jeno aches for him to do it more.

But Jaemin pulls away to lay his head on Jeno’s shoulder and tosses their wrappers into a trashcan.

Right now, in front of the hyungs, he should be minding the way he carries himself. He’s not thirteen anymore—and as much as the hyungs hate to admit, Jeno’s grown up.

But Jaemin is clinging to him like a sleepy koala, tucked against his side tightly and dozing off just a little.

So he bears the stares sent his way by the 127 and WayV hyungs and pulls Jaemin closer.

* * *

Certainly this wasn’t allowed.

Well, okay, it was. Jeno was technically an adult now. But it felt so…weird.

He’d seen Chenle and Jisung’s outfit. Donghyuck’s too. They were all covered up.

But Jeno?

A sleeveless black shirt with a deep V-neck and a thick cloth tie with some nice white pants. And that was it.

He felt a tiny bit exposed as he walked out of his dressing area and into the room with the rest of the staff and his members. They promptly stopped everything to stare at him.

“Jeno hyung? Did you…forget to put on the shirt underneath?”

Jeno scratches the back of his neck sheepishly. “No…this was it.”

Donghyuck whistles loudly and feels up Jeno’s muscles. “Damn, Jeno Lee!”

The rest of his members laugh, and he sees Jaemin look him up and down.

Jaemin looks so _pretty._

His black shirt is a little more unbuttoned than usual and his eye make-up is absolutely stunning. His hair looks so fluffy and Jeno just wants to run a hand through it. Oh, be still, his beating heart.

“You…you look good.”

Jeno resists the urge to scream and smiles instead. “Thanks, Nana. You look pretty too.”

 _Oops. He said pretty, didn’t he?_ It was bound to happen at some point, anyways.

Jaemin’s mouth opens in shock just a tiny bit before he looks away. Jeno swears there’s a hint of a blush there, but then again, the lighting in the dressing rooms are weird.

“T-thank you…Jeno-yah.”

They’re stuck staring at each other for a while before Renjun walks up to them and taps their shoulders. “Hey. Almost time to go.”

Jaemin breaks away, and nods. “Okay. Come on, Jeno-yah.”

The six of them walk on stage, and the next few minutes feel like a blur.

Jeno hasn’t performed like this before. The outfit makes him feel more…confident. He likes it.

It’s different. He sends more smirks to the fans, knowing that his body looks _damn_ good. The deafening screams from the fans are so worth it.

After their stage finishes and they head back to the dressing rooms, Jeno is still riding on that wave of confidence and adrenaline.

He walks over to Jaemin, sliding a hand down his back and to his waist. He leans in to whisper. He hears Jaemin’s baited breath and smirks.

“Good job today, Jaemin-ah.”

When Jeno pulls away, he’s pleasantly greeted with Jaemin’s shell-shocked face.

Jaemin has never ever been that red before.

* * *

“Jeno-yah.”

Jeno shifts in his seat, and turns towards his co-host. They’ve finished their MC-ing for the day and it’s about time to go home. “Yeah?”

“I heard someone’s coming over soon.”

Jeno nods. “Mhm. Jaeminie is just coming to pick me up.”

Yeeun smirks. “Ah, okay. I see.”

“Noona, you’re giving me that look.”

She laughs into her sleeve. “And what if I am?”

“Stop making fun of me!”

Yeeun sighs fondly, and pats his head. “Jeno-yah, if you really like him that much, you should tell him.”

“I can’t do that. If he doesn’t like me back, our group will be completely ruined!”

His pout deepens, and Yeeun finally takes pity on him. “Jeno-yah, it’ll be okay.”

“Will it really? Is it not wrong that I like a man? Is it not wrong that he is my own group member?”

Yeeun holds a particular sadness in her eyes that Jeno immediately regrets putting there. “A-ah, noona. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you sad.”

“No, Jeno-yah…don’t be sorry. I’m just worried for you.”

“Ah, noona. I don’t know what to do…”

She pats his head again. “Oh, Jeno. I wish I could help you. But truthfully, I don’t know what to do either. But noona will always support you, okay?”

Jeno nods. “Okay. Thank you.”

She pulls away. “And for the record, nothing is wrong with you. You are you.”

She sends him one last smile before taking her things and leaving with her manager. Jeno stares at the empty door frame even after she’s long gone. He makes sure to remember to send her gifts and hearts later.

He sits quietly waiting for Jaemin to come. Does he actually think anything between him and Jaemin will work out?

No.

It’s the idol business.

Even if Jaemin did reciprocate his feelings, getting caught by the company would be devastating. Perhaps they wouldn’t kick them out, because Jeno knew right now NCT was SM’s only claim to fame. But instead they might separate them. And by far that would be the worst thing to happen. (Well, besides getting kicked out of course, but Jeno already ruled that out.)

But this was _if_ Jaemin even liked him back. Now, that was a bit harder to gauge. Jaemin was the most loving person on the planet, so Jeno wouldn’t even know if Jaemin harbored any feelings towards him besides friendly love.

“Jeno-yahhhh! I’m here!”

Jeno is jerked out of his day-dream and turns to face his smiley best friend. “Hi. Let me just get my bags.”

Jeno slings his backpack over his shoulder, and bows to the stylists and staff of ‘The Show’ before heading out the backdoor with Jaemin.

His friend is extra bubbly today, as if sensing Jeno’s slightly sour mood.

“Jeno. You okay?”

Jeno nods. “Mhm.”

“You’re a bad liar. Come on. We can watch a movie and eat some cake.”

Jeno raises an eyebrow. “Cake? Where’d you get the cake?”

“Oh. The hyungs sent over a cake as an early birthday present.”

“Ahh. Okay. I mean, sure.”

They get into the van quickly, sparing a little hello at their manager. The ride to the dorms is spent in silence as Jeno plugs in his airpods and leans his head back on the seat. Jaemin is looking out the window with his own airpods in.

When they arrive back at the dorms, Jaemin goes to his room, claiming that he needs to rummage through his pile of movies to find the perfect one and shower. Jeno shrugs and heads back to his room. He slings his back somewhere on the floor, and flops onto his bed.

“Jeno. You okay?”

Jeno sits up to see Renjun leaning against the door frame. “Maybe.”

“That’s a no. What’s up?”

Jeno really doesn’t want to answer. But this is Renjun. If Jaemin isn’t there then it’s always Renjun.

“Um…”

Renjun raises an eyebrow. “Is it personal?”

He nods, and Renjun goes inside his room, closes the door, and locks it. He sits down next to Jeno. “Okay.”

“Well…it’s two things.”

“Sure. Hit me.”

“Okay…I…” Jeno really doesn’t want to say it. Because although Renjun may be his best friend, Asians are still homophobic.

But if he can’t trust Renjun, who else could he trust? He hasn’t been honest with his group members at all. The only person who knows is Yeeun, and that was completely on accident.

“I like men. I’m gay.”

Renjun blinks.

Jeno keeps going. “And I think…and I think I’m in love with Jaemin.”

Renjun blinks again.

Jeno takes that badly. Before he knows it, tears are running down his cheeks and _oh he can’t breathe—_

“Oh, Jeno…”

Renjun takes him into his arms, and pats his back soothingly. “You idiot. I’m not disgusted. I’m not mad. You’re still my best friend.”

Jeno hugs him back tightly, and the tightness in his chest is released.

“Jeno, look at me.”

Jeno raises his head and looks Renjun in the eye.

“Listen here. You’re a big fucking dumbass if you thought for a moment I would ever hate you. It’s okay. You’re gay. So what? You’re still Lee Jeno. Just gay. And in love. That’s okay.”

Jeno nods and hugs Renjun again. “Thanks.”

“No problem. And anyways, I just want to say, you have a chance.”

Jeno looks at him strangely. “Huh?”

“You have a chance.”

Jeno nearly laughs. That’s hilarious. “Pfffft. As if. You’re funny, Injun.”

Renjun looks unimpressed. “Oh boy. You’re an idiot. Don’t forget that Jaemin’s also my best friend.”

“So what?”

Renjun now looks like he’s about to scream. He speaks in a strangled voice. “J-Just, go and watch your movie with your lover boy.”

Renjun shoos him out of the room, and Jeno stumbles into their common area. Jaemin is wrapped up in a blanket already, and watching some rom-com. He sees Jeno, and pats the couch cushion next to him. Jeno nods, and moves to sit next to him. Jaemin spreads the blanket over the both of them, and Jeno leans his head on Jaemin’s shoulder.

Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Renjun shaking his head, and pulling Donghyuck into their room probably to gossip.

He turns his head back to the movie. He feels his eyes slowly start to close.

“Jeno.”

Jaemin’s soft voice nudges him awake. “You know, if you ever need someone, I’m always here. I’m…I’m your best friend.”

Jeno knows, of course. Jaemin is his comfort person. He’s just like that blanket or toy or doll that kids need to have with them at all times or else they’re fussy. Without Jaemin, Jeno would be curled up in a little ball of anxiety and depression in a ditch.

“And besides. No matter what happens, no matter what troubles you’re going through, we’re still in this thing together.”

Wow. Jeno didn’t know he could fall in love even more.

He does anyways.

* * *

It’s Jaemin’s birthday.

Jeno would say that he doesn’t know what to get him but he got him a bike helmet. It feels so incredibly useless, but whenever Jeno and he go biking, Jeno always has a heart attack because Jaemin goes unprotected.

Still. It’s so incredibly bland. 

He has the urge to dump pink glitter all over it but decides that it wouldn’t be very practical for Jaemin.

Like usual, all the members try to prepare a cake for Jaemin before he wakes up.

Jeno would like to say it was going pretty well, but, alas, the cooking and baking was always Jaemin’s forte.

“Guys…I think it’s fine.”

Jeno looks down at the cake. It was supposed to be a chocolate cake with vanilla frosting and cherries on top.

That was not what it looked like.

“Are you sure it’s not burnt?” Jisung looks concerned for Jaemin.

“Of course. I mean…I’m pretty sure I put it in the oven for the right amount of time.”

“Renjun-hyung, what do you think?”

Renjun doesn’t really look all too assured either. “Uh…we tried our best?”

That doesn’t assuage their fears at all.

The cake is…is a cake. It’s lopsided, and the frosting is lumped unevenly, and the cherries, well, the cherries can’t really be messed up so he guesses that’s fine.

At nine-thirty, Jaemin finally emerges from his room, already freshened up and comes into the kitchen.

“Happy birthday!”

Jaemin looks pleasantly surprised, although he shouldn’t be because he’s done the birthday cake surprise before for other members.

“Oh! Thank you!”

“Hyung, hyung, we made you a cake!” Jisung cries out first.

Jaemin chuckles, and walks over to the lump. “Oh, thank you guys. It looks…great.”

“Hyung, you don’t have to pretend. Although, it may taste better than it looks.”

Jaemin grabs a fork, and takes a small bite. He hums. “Hey, you’re right. It’s not bad. Dig in.”

The rest of them grab forks and start taking huge chunks out of the cake. Within twenty minutes, the cake is gone.

“Eating cake for breakfast…in hindsight, not our best idea.”

Chenle groans, and rolls onto his stomach. He looks rather comfortable on the floor. “Hyung, I think I’m going to be sick.”

Jaemin’s too tired to coddle him. “At least not on the floor, Lele.”

The 127 hyungs and their friends from WayV slowly flood into their dorms. By late afternoon, lunch had been eaten with a lively atmosphere and all twenty-one of them.

The NCT Dream dorms had never been this noisy. Jaemin’s birthday is quite a celebration, because everyone has a lot to say for the sweetest member of NCT.

Dinner is not unlike lunch. Although there is a massive amount of food, NCT is always hungry. The entire dinner, people are fighting to put food on Jaemin’s plate. He looks embarrassed, but Jeno knows he’s secretly enjoying the attention.

After dinner, everyone takes to spend time separately with Jaemin and give them their gifts.

By the time it’s eleven at night, and all the hyungs have left, Jeno still hasn’t given Jaemin his gift yet.

“Aiyah, Jeno, help me clean up.”

Chenle and Jisung are knocked out on the couch, and Renjun and Donghyuck are in their room. Jeno and Jaemin are the only ones still awake.

Jeno wordlessly gets up, and starts tidying the dorm along with Jaemin. When they finish, it’s five minutes until midnight.

“Jaemin-ah…I haven’t gotten the chance to talk to you yet.”

“Mhm. Do it quick, or else I might fall asleep.”

Jeno sighs, and brings Jaemin to his room, and Jaemin hops into his bed. Jeno runs into his room to get the gift.

“A helmet?”

“Because you nearly give me a stroke every time we go biking.”

Jaemin laughs quietly, and sets the helmet on the floor. “Thank you, Jeno.”

“And…I just wanted to say…I’m glad that you grew up well. I’m happy that you grew up to be you.”

Jaemin smiles, and Jeno runs a hand through his hair. Jeno knows he’s going to fall asleep any minute.

“Ah, you must be so tired. Did you have a good birthday?”

Jaemin gives him a small nod, and his eyes start to close. Jeno continues to card his fingers through Jaemin’s hair.

“Get some good sleep, okay? I love you, Jaemin-ah.”

Jaemin doesn’t respond. He’s already knocked out. Jeno smiles fondly, and pulls the blanket over Jaemin. The clock reads 12:03. It’s late. He decides it’s time to go to bed himself.

He closes the door behind him, and heads to his own room. He lays down on his bed and sighs.

It takes a little longer to sleep.

* * *

Okay, Jeno’s feelings towards Jaemin have always been pure.

Just like a simple elementary school crush.

The last two months were spent with Jeno gushing over how cute Jaemin was because, come on, what else was he supposed to do? They had so many promotions together (it’s like SM knew what was up), so really, it was impossible for Jeno just to ignore him. They went on Hello Counselor together, they took a trip to Busan together, so therefore, the entire two months were just Jaemin being adorable and Jeno dying over it.

Up until now. 

Lately, his and Jaemin’s outfits have gotten more daring. Mostly Jeno’s, and Jaemin has had the occasional sleeveless shirt or slightly unbuttoned shirt. It’s October now, so the revealing outfits are turned down a bit.

But this. But _this_ outfit _._

Jeno has no idea why this outfit stands out to him in particular but _wow_ Jaemin looks damn good.

So, Jeno felt a little dizzy.

Who decided to put Jaemin in…that?

Obviously, he’s seen more, but this suit just did things for Jaemin.

The white contrasted his beautiful melanin skin perfectly, and _oh he can’t breathe—_

Jeno was having a hard time.

The way the cross necklace sat on Jaemin’s exposed collarbones and the way the deep V-neck of his shirt dipped down to show his smooth honey skin drove Jeno absolutely _insane_.

However, the little minx probably is loving the way he looks right now. Well, Jeno is absolutely not having a fun time. His knees are jelly, so how in the world is he supposed to dance? He’s sweating a little bit already, making his slightly sheer shirt a little bit more sheer.

“Jeno, are you okay?”

Jaemin comes into view, and Jeno startles. “Yes! I’m fine.”

He tilts his head questioningly. “Uh huh. You sure?”

“Yes! I’m sure.”

Jaemin comes closer and _oh my god please don’t get closer_ cups his face. He then feels his forehead. “Hm, you feel a little hot.”

Jeno can now see Jaemin’s face up close. His lips are glossy and oh-so-pretty and pouty and Jeno just wants to kiss him stupid. He can also see how enticing Jaemin’s collarbones are and now Jeno just wants to pass out.

“N-no, I’m okay. I swear.”

Jeno is also aware of how Jaemin’s body is pressed up against his. Jeno is going to _die._ And without any dignity because he is painfully aware of the problem in his pants.

“Oh alright. Jeno, if you don’t feel well, make sure you tell someone, okay?”

Jeno nods dumbly, and Jaemin walks away to go and bother Renjun.

Jeno doesn’t feel alright at all. He feels incredibly hot and bothered.

This is the first time he’s ever seen his best friend in this new light. Like, obviously Jeno thinks his best friend is the most beautiful person to ever walk the Earth, but this is the first time Jeno feels this feeling in his gut. It’s a tugging sensation, a tugging sensation that makes Jeno want to move closer to Jaemin, make him want to press Jaemin against the wall and kiss him so hard that he’ll forget his name.

He just _wants_ so bad. He _wants_ Jaemin.

And Jeno doesn’t find out about this emotion until much later. He learns it’s called _lust._

But for now, Jeno settles on hungrily eyeing Jaemin’s body, and like any other hormonal teenager, promises to himself that he will _devour_ it.

* * *

“Donghyuck.”

“What?”

“I have something to tell you.”

Donghyuck looks up from his phone. “Okay. What?”

Jeno puts his phone down, and rolls onto Donghyuck’s stomach. He hears an ‘oof’ and holds back a laugh. “I’m gay.”

“Okay.”

“Did you hear me?”

“Yeah. You’re gay. What about it?”

Jeno pinches his thigh. “Aren’t you going to be dramatic like usual?”

Donghyuck scoffs. “Honey, I already knew.”

“Am I really that obvious?” Jeno frowns.

“No. Jeno, have you forgotten I actually grew up with you? Dumb fuck.”

Jeno pinches his thigh a little harder in admonishment. “Well. Sometimes I like to forget that fact.”

“Yah, Lee Jeno. Don’t be an ass.”

“Why don’t you tell yourself that?”

Donghyuck smacks him, and Jeno hits him right back. This results in a little bit of a fight, but then again Jeno isn’t trying to hurt and Donghyuck isn’t either. It’s okay.

When they’ve both calmed down, Jeno finds himself laying on his side and facing Donghyuck.

“Why’d you tell me all of a sudden, by the way?”

Jeno shrugs. “Well…I…I just think it’s important to let you guys know.”

“Anyone else know?”

“Renjun and my co-host Yeeun. That’s it.”

“Not even Jaemin?”

Jeno winces. “Well…”

Donghyuck raises an eyebrow. “What?”

“Here’s the thing…I think I love him.”

Donghyuck looks at him, completely unimpressed. “Okay. So, you just realized?”

“Um…”

“Wow. Okay. I can’t believe…never mind. I just want to say…there’s more than you know.”

Jeno groans and flops onto his stomach. “You and Renjun are so incredibly cryptic. I hate you guys.”

“Honestly, we’re not at all cryptic. You’re just fucking dense.”

Jeno frowns again. “I don’t get how.”

Donghyuck sighs, and pats his shoulder. “Well, it’s okay. You’ll figure it out somehow. For now, me and Injun got your back.”

Jeno cracks a small smile, which Donghyuck returns. Donghyuck doesn’t tease him any further, and instead wraps him up in a hug. Jeno feels relieved.

“Thanks.”

* * *

“Jeno-yah. I’m bored.”

“Aren’t you always?”

Jeno is damn tired. They’ve just concluded another night of practicing for their dream show (thank god it’s almost here, because Jeno can’t handle this anymore), and he’s collapsed on his bed. Chenle has ultimately decided to occupy Jisung’s room so Jaemin has vacated over to his.

“Oh my god, Jaemin, I think you’ve told me this thirty times in the last ten minutes.”

“Yeah, because I’m still bored.”

Jeno sighs. “I don’t know what to do with you.”

“Entertain me. You’re not my best friend for nothing.”

“I see how it is.”

Jeno turns away from him, and Jaemin laughs incredulously. “Jeno! You can’t just—”

He sniffs teasingly, and wipes a fake tear. “I thought after all this time I would mean more to you.”

“Hey!”

Jeno holds up a hand to silence Jaemin, who looks like he’s about to blow a fuse, either from laughing or wanting to tackle Jeno to the floor. “No, no, I get it.”

“Lee Jeno, shut up—”

“Jaemin-ah, it’s alright. I’m used to it. I’m used to being used. And here I thought we had something special.”

Jaemin chucks a pillow at him. “I’m going to kill you one day. Sleep with one eye open.”

Jeno grabs the pillow and hurls it back. It hits Jaemin square in the face.

“Lee Jeno! Oh, it’s on.”

Jaemin jumps onto the bed, and Jeno lets out a totally manly screech. That doesn’t stop Jaemin from pelting Jeno with any pillows he can find. Jeno desperately grabs discarded pillows and chucks them right back.

The pillows are long forgotten as their fight escalates to grappling around on Jeno’s bed. Now, after being Jaemin’s best friend for about seven years, they’ve play-wrestled plenty.

And Jeno knows Jaemin isn’t afraid to play dirty. In hindsight, he should’ve seen this coming.

He realizes this a bit too late after getting kneed and wheezes as Jaemin presses him down onto the bed.

“Hah! I win again!”

Jeno catches his breath and glares lightly. “You win because you cheat.”

“Pffft. What? I don’t cheat.”

Jeno narrows his eyes at him. And a plan forms.

He’s going to pull Jaemin down and then he’s going to flip them over, and boom! Tickle attack. Jaemin won’t know what’s coming for him.

Jeno puts the first step of his plan into action, and pulls Jaemin down. He’s expecting for Jaemin to lock his arms, and that’s why this is going to work, because Jaemin is going to be rigid so he can roll them over easier—

Jaemin doesn’t expect it. He yelps. And goes limp. And comes crashing down onto Jeno.

Right onto his lips.

Jeno freezes and Jaemin does too. The kiss only lasts a split second until Jaemin pulls away.

“Oh gosh, Jaemin, I’m sorry!”

Jeno quickly scrambles up, and prepares to grovel for forgiveness. Jaemin might forgive him faster if he pulls out the puppy dog face too. “Sorry, I thought you knew what I was doing. Jaemin, I—hello?”

Jaemin is sitting and staring at Jeno with wide eyes. Jeno is starting to become concerned. And his little gay heart is beating so hard it might just stop.

“Jaemin?”

Jaemin blinks. “Um…”

Jeno runs a hand through his mussed-up hair, and worriedly stares at Jaemin. Jeno really can’t tell what’s running through his friend’s mind. “Jaemin?”

Before he can even register what’s happening, Jaemin grabs his face and kisses him again.

Jeno short-circuits.

Jaemin pulls back, and stares at him in shock. “Oh my god.”

There’s another awkward silence before Jaemin speaks up. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Jeno replies almost too quickly.

Jeno thinks Jaemin gets the message because they both surge forward and suddenly Jeno has Jaemin pressed up against his bed.

The glide of their lips is incredibly sweet; Jeno can’t imagine a better taste. Jaemin’s lips are slightly chapped but he doesn’t mind at all, because _oh Christ, he’s kissing Na Jaemin._

Jaemin lets out little whimpers as he claws at Jeno’s chest. Jeno only kisses him with more vigor.

Their inexperience shows, although, it’s bearable. Jeno may not know what he’s doing what his tongue right now, but Jaemin seems to like it, so it must be something right. Right?

“Jeno, please, don’t stop.”

Jeno continues to kiss the living daylights out of Jaemin, who continues to let out those little sounds of pleasure.

And because Jeno is too far gone, because Jeno is too deep in the sea— _because_ Jeno is too in love, Jeno doesn’t stop.

* * *

After the kiss, their touches linger just a little bit more. Of course, Jeno doesn’t mind at all. He’s just glad that their relationship isn’t ruined.

Jeno at least knows a bit more about his friend now.

Like how his best friend likes men too. (Oh, so maybe that’s what Renjun and Hyuck were saying.)

_Like what his lips feel like, like what he sounds like begging for Jeno to kiss him harder, like what he looks like after kissing him silly—_

Jeno stops himself right there.

Now is not the time to fantasize about kissing his best friend again. It’s too hard not to, though, because his best friend is situated in his lap.

Really, Jeno doesn’t know how he’s lost control of this situation. He was happily living, just pining after his best friend, like all teenagers are wont to do at some point.

But now. Jeno’s not sure what’s going on anymore. 

They’re not together, but Jeno is one hundred percent sure that their relationship is just a bit more than friends. Well, he’s not exactly sure how they can go back to being only best friends after having each other’s tongues down their throats.

Jeno is not sure if he can erase that memory.

“Jeno-yah, are you even paying attention?”

He wants to say no, and he also wants to say that it’s because Jaemin is too darn beautiful just existing in his over-sized baby blue hoodie. Wow, Jeno is so fucked.

“Um, yeah.”

“No, you’re not. And you always complain that you don’t understand and ask me what happens afterwards. You’re so annoying.”

“Oh, I’m annoying. Uh huh.”

Jaemin jabs at his chest, and Jeno starts to tickle him.

Jaemin writhes in his grasp and straddles him to get a better vantage point. Jaemin tickles him too, and Jeno bats his hands away.

Bad idea.

As graceful as Jaemin is, he is still prone to accidents.

He almost falls backwards but Jeno has his ‘Jaemin is in danger’ reflexes and catches him.

“Okay. Bad idea. Shouldn’t have done that.”

Jaemin takes a moment to catch his breath, and wraps his arms around Jeno’s neck to keep himself steady. “Yeah. I agree. Whew.”

Jeno calms down his fears of Jaemin cracking his head open, and brings his gaze up to Jaemin.

Well, certainly, they were closer than they were initially.

Jeno’s breath hitches as Jaemin cups his cheek, and presses their foreheads together. Subconsciously, Jeno’s arms snake around his waist. Jeno’s heart is beating so hard that he’s afraid that it might burst out of his chest. That would not be ideal. Jaemin’s lips are almost touching his, and their breaths mingled as Jeno tilted his head up to finally kiss Jaemin, and _fuck yeah, he gets to kiss him again_ —

The keys jangle.

Jaemin nearly shrieks as he jumps off Jeno’s lap and tries to casually pose himself on the couch. Jeno panics and grabs a pillow and lays down to pretend to sleep.

The members come filtering in, and Jeno feigns waking up. “Oh hey, guys!”

He winces at his overly cheerful voice. He can see Jaemin laughing nervously. Renjun narrows his eyes at him, and nudges Donghyuck. “Hey. Whatcha doing?”

“Just watching this drama. Not too special.”

“Uh huh. Okay. Let’s eat dinner after we shower.”

Jaemin and Jeno nod quickly, and the rest of the boys go to shower. Once they leave the common area, Jaemin and Jeno sigh in relief.

They look at each other warily, and Jeno can tell they’re both thinking the same thing.

_That was close. Too close._

* * *

It’s the second day of the Dream show. The hyungs aren’t here today, so they’re free to be wilder and weirder than normal.

Jeno takes advantage of that.

Usually, Jeno is the shyest person ever. He’s soft and squishy, as Jaemin would put it.

But when he is on stage, he is different.

Which is why, during Boom, he decides that maybe it’s time to show off his hard work at the gym.

He takes advantage of that short break they have just before the final chorus and rips his shirt open. He hopes that he didn’t rip any buttons because despite his nice disposition and incredibly persuasive personality, the stylists will be ruthless.

Regardless of that niggling thought, he can basically hear the fans’ screams even through his in-ears. The rush of adrenaline that flows through his body lets him finish the song with unbridled energy.

When Jeno runs offstage, all the members are whooping at him and whistling.

“Damn, Lee Jeno! Who knew you had it in you to rip it?”

Jeno’s shy now, which is a deviant contrast to his ripped open shirt. He’s aware of the way the sweat is glistening off his body and the way everyone is staring at him.

Especially Jaemin.

At any rate, Jeno is going to have to kiss him again.

“Where’s my shirt? Wanna change.”

A stylist hands him the group shirt and ushers him into a dressing room. Jaemin ends up in the same dressing room as him. Because of course he does.

Jeno strips off his shirt, and turns towards Jaemin. Jaemin is bright red, and tries to avert his gaze.

“Like what you see?”

Jaemin turns redder, but still rolls his eyes. “Just because you’re dressed like this doesn’t mean I—”

Jeno, still on his slightly high horse (because adrenaline doesn’t wear off that quickly), crosses the room in three strides and slams Jaemin against the wall. Jaemin lets out a surprised yelp, but that doesn’t deter Jeno. “Doesn’t mean you what?”

Jaemin’s breath hitches, and his eyes are wide. “J-Jeno, what—”

Jeno doesn’t let him continue and smashes his lips against Jaemin’s. Immediately, Jaemin opens his mouth to let Jeno’s tongue in. Really, the stylists are going to kill him because they only have fifteen minutes to change. However, Jeno isn’t going to pull any punches.

Jaemin is whimpering into his mouth for him to kiss him harder, and Jeno simply can’t deny him anything. He gropes at Jaemin’s thighs, who lets out the softest moans that only turn Jeno on even more.

Jeno rids Jaemin of his shirt (because, well, he needs to change anyways), and Jaemin gasps. “W-wait, J-Jeno, we still have to—”

“I know.”

Jeno breaks away, and looks into Jaemin’s eyes. “If you want, we can continue this later.”

“Please. I think I might go crazy if we don’t.”

Jeno pulls away fully (to his and probably Jaemin’s disappointment), and slips on the shirt. Jaemin does too. Jeno is slowly coming off his high now, but he still feels that bit of confidence. Maybe it’s because of how small Jaemin looked under him.

He pushes Jaemin against the wall and kisses his lips lightly before quickly pulling away. He curls a finger under Jaemin’s chin.

“Be good. Then maybe we’ll do something more.”

He pulls away, leaving Jaemin a shocked and stuttering mess against the wall as he walks away.

He smirks. It feels good.

* * *

When the show finally ends, everyone is way too tired to think straight.

When Jeno and Jaemin pile into their van, they collapse onto the backseat in a pile of limbs. “I think you’re crushing my windpipe, but I’m too tired to move.”

“Shit, sorry.”

Jaemin shifts into a more comfortable position on Jeno’s chest. Jeno dozes off soon after, and finds himself being shaken awake by his manager. Jaemin refuses to wake up, and Jeno waves off his manager.

“I got it, hyung-nim. “

His manager shoots him a thumbs up and leaves him to himself.

“Jaemin-ah.”

“Five minutes.”

“Come on, Jaemin-ah.”

Jaemin refuses to budge. Jeno suddenly has an idea.

He thanks all those times that he caved into Jaemin’s requests to watch those cheesy K-dramas and sucks up his embarrassment.

“Baby?”

Jaemin stirs at that. “Hm…I could be convinced to wake up…”

Jeno rolls his eyes. “Come on…baby.”

Jaemin smiles pleasantly, and holds his hands out. “Carry me?”

Jeno scoffs and rolls his eyes again. He still scoops Jaemin up into his arms. “You’re so spoiled.”

“Your fault. Spoiled me rotten.”

“Oh, isn’t that right.”

Jeno stumbles sleepily into the dorms. Chenle is still puttering around in the kitchen getting some water. Everyone else is probably sound asleep.

“Wanna crash in Jisung’s room tonight?”

Chenle laughs. “Sure, sure, hyung. Good night.”

“Night, Lele.”

Chenle disappears into Jisung’s room, and Jeno brings Jaemin back to his. He lays Jaemin down on his bed, and starts changing into his pajamas. He brings Jaemin a pair of his own sweatpants and a spare shirt. He starts changing Jaemin into it, who hums gratefully. Finally, Jeno crashes onto the bed with him.

“I’m too tired, Jeno-yah. Can it wait?”

Jeno nods, and pulls Jaemin closer. “Of course.”

Jaemin leans up to press a lingering kiss to the corner of his mouth, but Jeno pulls him right back onto his lips.

“Good night, Jaemin-ah.”

Jaemin smiles, and snuggles into him before closing his eyes.

“Good night, Jeno-yah.”

* * *

Jeno wakes up to the sight of Jaemin’s face. It’s a welcome one. He hopes that maybe he’ll see this more often.

Jaemin’s already slightly awake, and his eyelids are fluttering open.

“Good morning.”

Jeno smiles at him. “Good morning.”

Jaemin yawns, and stretches. He loops his arms around Jeno’s neck. “How’d you sleep?”

“Very good. Still tired though.”

“Mmhm. Same.”

Jeno leans down to kiss his forehead. “Finally a day off, huh?”

“Yep. And I’ve never been more grateful.”

Jaemin kisses his cheek, and buries his face in Jeno’s neck. “Ah. It’s cold.”

“I know. Heaven forbid I let you go to bed alone last night. You would’ve changed yourself into some shorts.”

“Thank you for keeping me alive then.”

“No problem at all. Though, I think you owe me something now.”

Jaemin raises an eyebrow. “Oh? And what would that be?”

Jeno smiles mischievously. “I think you know.”

Jaemin kisses him on the lips slowly, lips lazily moving against Jeno’s. They’re still not great at it (they’re not bad either)—the occasional clacking of their teeth is proof—but Jeno thinks with a bit more practice, Jeno could definitely get used to doing this more often.

When Jaemin pulls away, he puts a hand on his chest. “Jeno-yah, I’ve been meaning to ask you…what does this all mean?”

“Huh?”

“I mean…you and me. What…what is this? Not that I don’t want it, because I do, but…”

Jeno looks away. “I don’t know what this means. I…I’ve never had this.”

“What does this mean for NCT Dream? Jeno…what does this mean for us?”

“I don’t know.”

“Jeno, is…is this a mistake?”

“I…I really don’t know. But I know that…it’s always you. Jaemin…I…I don’t know how to put this but I…I think I’ve loved you for a long time. And I really don’t care what happens now but I just know I want you. I guess if this is wrong, I would despise being right.”

Jaemin laughs softly. “You idiot. Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

Jaemin leans in to kiss Jeno soundly on the lips. Jeno thinks he’s never felt anything better than feeling Jaemin’s smile against his lips.

“Jeno, I love you too. In case you haven’t put that together yet.”

Jeno wants to ask him how long. Jeno wants to ask him if he knew. Jeno wants to ask him a lot of things. But this probably isn’t the time for that, Jeno realizes. Jeno and Jaemin have all the time in the world to figure things out. Because when is he ever going to get this moment back? When is he ever going to relive this point in time where the love of his life says he loves him back?

It’s in this moment where Jeno realizes it’s all real. Months of Jeno pining over his best friend have led him up to this.

And it somehow works out. Like some kind of miracle.

He can’t believe this is really his life.

“So…what does this really mean now?”

Jeno looks down at him. “This means…that I want you to be my boyfriend.”

Jaemin looks weirdly affected by that, and he laughs breathlessly. “Yeah. I’ll be your boyfriend.”

Jeno kisses him again, and realizes he’ll be doing this a lot more now that he can. “On a real note, I really don’t care what happens to me. This is all new to me, but I’m willing to do this with you.”

“You’re sure?”

Jeno shuts him up by kissing him harder. Oh yeah. This is it. This is the pinnacle of Lee Jeno’s young teenage life. This is what he’s been building up for all these months. And _fuck_ , he’s sure.

“Never been more sure in my life.”

* * *

As all things do, it starts with a little bit of making out.

“Jeno-yah. Can we do something? Jisung and Chenle are filming ‘This and That’, Renjun’s doing his radio thing, and Donghyuck is with the hyungs. We’re the only ones left!”

Jeno rolls his eyes as his boyfriend ( _boyfriend? Boyfriend! Boyfriend boyfriend boyfriend—)_ tugs his arm.

“Jeno-yahhhh. Do you love me?”

“Yes.”

“Then come on!”

“What are we doing?”

Jaemin shrugs. “Well, I haven’t figured that part out yet.”

“Well, that’s great. Why don’t we just stay home instead?”

Jaemin huffs, and flings himself on the bed next to Jeno. “Okay. What now?”

“I don’t know.”

Jaemin groans, and rolls onto Jeno. Jeno ignores him and continues to watch a gaming video on his phone. “Jeno-yahhhh. Pay attention to me.”

“In a minute.”

He pouts, and cuddles into Jeno’s side. “Why are you even my boyfriend if you’re just going to ignore me?”

“Jaemin-ah, come on. Let me finish this.”

Jaemin grabs his phone and places it on the nightstand. “Kiss me.”

“Hey! I was—”

“Okay, and I said kiss me.”

Jeno rolls his eyes and kisses Jaemin on the lips. Really, his little angel was such a brat. Probably his fault.

It’s innocent at first, but then Jaemin straddles him and from there, it escalates really fast.

Suddenly, Jeno is shirtless and he has a hand up Jaemin’s shirt. Woah.

“Wait, Jaemin.”

Jaemin pulls away, and gives him a questioning look. “Hm?”

“Are you…do you…”

Jaemin stares at him before getting his implication. He flushes beet red. “I mean…if you want to…”

“It’s just…it’s my first time and I…”

“Yeah, me too…”

Jeno laughs awkwardly. “I only kind of know the basics…and I think the only supplies I have are lube because Donghyuck thought it would be funny to get me.”

Jaemin snorts. “Sounds like Donghyuck. Well, anyways, I’m clean. And I’m pretty sure you are too…so I don’t mind I guess.”

They stare at each other for a moment more. Jeno’s heart is going haywire, and he might go into cardiac arrest if Jaemin pulls any silly business on him.

“So…”

Jaemin looks shy. “I’d love to have my first time with you…”

And normally, those words would sound sexy, but Jaemin’s cheeks are a rosy pink and he’s biting his lip a little, and _oh, Jeno’s so in love._

“If you’ll have me.”

Jaemin nods shyly, and guides Jeno’s hands to unbutton his shirt. Jeno slides off his top, and discards it somewhere on the bed. Jaemin shies away under all the attention Jeno is giving him.

“Jeno-yah…”

“Mhm?”

Jaemin fiddles with his fingers. “Can you…can you mark me?”

Jeno chokes on his spit, and nods his head rapidly. “Sure! Sure. Yeah.”

Jeno moves closer to start kissing Jaemin’s neck, and Jaemin gasps. “Oh!”

He decides he likes that sound, and starts to suck and nibble on his collar bones. Jaemin’s hands weave into Jeno’s hair.

“J-Jeno, ah, not too many. The members—”

“I know. Don’t worry.”

Jeno pulls away. “Are you sure about this?”

Jaemin nods. “Yes, I’m sure.”

Jaemin’s forehead is pressed against Jeno’s, and for a moment, they just stare. “What now?”

“Uh…it depends. Either you take off your pants, or I do.”

Jaemin flushes. “Right. Because…one of us has to…”

“Yeah. Um.”

“I can…I can do that.”

“Are you sure? What if I hurt you?”

Jaemin rolls his eyes. “It’s probably going to hurt. I’m just saying. But I’m telling you, I’m fine with it. Plus, I can’t really see you doing it.”

“Okay, only if you’re sure. I don’t want to make you do something uncomfortable.”

Jaemin kisses him slightly. “Yep. I’m sure.”

Without any preamble, Jaemin strips off his pants.

“Wait, hang on. We should move.”

Jeno slightly shifts Jaemin so he’s laying down on the bed instead. He stands up, and moves to lock the door. “Just in case.”

Jeno turns to walk back to the bed, and nearly trips and falls on his face. Jaemin’s already undressed fully, and is bashfully sprawled on the bed.

Jeno swears drool nearly slips out of his mouth. He slowly approaches the bed, and his hands find their way to Jaemin’s waist. Jeno’s hands wander on his body, feeling his narrow waist to his beautiful thighs.

Jeno’s hit gold. He’s struck the jackpot. He’s won. Jaemin is his, and only his. He can’t believe his luck.

“You’re so beautiful.”

Jaemin whines. “Jeno-yah, you can’t just say that! My poor heart.”

Jeno chuckles and stands up to go find the lube. He rummages through his bedside drawer, and manages to find the small bottle. He’d never thought he’d have to use it, but Jeno is glad that he had the insight to keep it.

“Okay, so…what do I do?”

Jaemin shrugs. “I think you’re supposed to put it on your fingers or me, and then…”

“Oh. Okay.”

Jeno nudges Jaemin’s thighs open. He hears Jaemin’s breath hitch, and he presses a few kisses to his thighs in reassurance.

“Okay, it’s going to feel weird. Tell me if I should stop.”

Jeno squeezes the liquid onto his fingers, and prods at Jaemin’s entrance. It slowly gives way, and Jeno slides a whole finger inside.

“A-ah! Wait, wait, wait.”

Jeno gently kisses Jaemin’s hip bone, and pats his thigh. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. It’s just—wow, I didn’t expect that. You can move now.”

Jeno starts to move his finger in and out slowly. Jaemin lets out little sounds of pain before they slowly melt into pleasure. Jeno can feel his own little problem arise, and shoves another finger inside. Jaemin yelps, surprised. “Jeno!”

“Sorry!”

Jaemin chuckles weakly. “It’s fine. Keep going, please.”

Jeno picks up the pace, and adds another finger. Jaemin is still letting out tiny whimpers of pleasure, which Jeno thinks is incredibly cute, even though their current situation has nothing cute about it.

“A-ah, Jeno. I think I’m…ah…ready.”

Jeno slides out of Jaemin, who whines at the loss. It ignites a desire in Jeno, who quickly strips off his sweatpants.

“Oh god, you’re huge.”

Jeno smirks slightly, feeling that familiar rush of confidence and adrenaline run through his veins like it does when he’s on stage.

Oh, Jaemin’s in for it.

Jeno slicks up his length, and spreads Jaemin wide. He’s glad Jaemin is flexible, or else he’s not too sure how this would work.

He aligns the tip of his length with Jaemin’s entrance, and waits until Jaemin tells him he’s ready. And then, he starts to push in.

It’s nothing like he’s ever felt before. Black spots enter his line of vision, and his head spins. He hears Jaemin cry out under him, and that’s what brings him back to reality.

“J-Jeno! It hurts!”

Jeno leans down to kiss Jaemin on the lips to distract him. “I know, baby. I’m sorry.”

Tears are gathering in Jaemin’s eyes, and Jeno desperately wipes them away. “Oh, baby. I’m so sorry. If you want, we can stop.”

“No! N-no. I want to make you feel good. Please. Let me do something.” Jaemin cries. Jeno squeezes his waist reassuringly and kisses his forehead.

“Okay, okay. It’s okay, I won’t stop.”

Jeno waits until Jaemin taps his shoulder. “Okay, I’m ready.”

Jeno pulls out, and then slams back in. Jeno nearly passes out from the pleasure. Jaemin moans, and tells him faster. And Jeno has no choice but to comply.

Jeno starts rocking his hips harder, and Jaemin lets out soft mewls that drive Jeno absolutely insane. Midway through a thrust, Jaemin clenches down on him, and Jeno lets out a groan. Jaemin grins at the effect it has, and clenches down on him again.

“Jaemin-ah, you’re going to regret that.”

“Huh? What are you—ah! Jeno!”

Jeno slides out of Jaemin, and turns him onto his stomach. He spreads Jaemin’s cheeks apart, and slams his girth back inside of Jaemin.

“Jeno!”

He grabs Jaemin’s hips, and starts to thrust deep into Jaemin. He pulls all the way out, and slams back in. Jaemin is a moaning mess underneath him.

“Ah, Jeno-yah, feels so good, Jeno-yah, please don’t stop!”

Jeno has no intention on doing so.

He keeps pounding relentlessly into Jaemin, hitting his sweet spot and not caring about how loud Jaemin is getting.

He can see that Jaemin’s arms are starting to tremble, and he pushes Jaemin’s shoulders down. Now, Jaemin’s ass is in the air, and normally, Jaemin would be very embarrassed but he’s too blissed out to care.

“Ah, Jaemin-ah, you feel so good.”

Jaemin preens under the praise, and Jeno makes sure to keep that in mind.

Jeno continues to fuck into Jaemin with endless energy, and Jaemin just comes apart even further. “Jeno-yah, I’m close, I’m close, please don’t stop.”

Jeno stops.

Jaemin actually cries out, and Jeno flips him back over. Jaemin looks beautiful. He looks so radiant, and absolutely fucked out.

Tears are streaming down his face, and his cheeks are red. His chest is heaving, and his legs are spread even wider.

Jaemin looks so _stunning,_ all ruined and blissed-out underneath him _._

“Oh, look at you, baby. So pretty.”

Jaemin whines, and shoves his own fingers inside his own hole. He makes sure Jeno is watching him as he moans and sticks his tongue out.

Jeno’s eyes bulge as Jaemin satisfies himself. “Jeno-yah, p-please. It’s so empty…I need you in me.”

Jeno has never seen Jaemin like this. A dark and primal feeling awakes inside of Jeno, and he hovers over Jaemin. “Or, you can keep pleasuring yourself.”

Immediately, Jaemin removes his fingers. “No, please! Jeno-yah!”

Jeno chuckles darkly. “What’s wrong, baby?”

“Jeno-yah, please, please! Please, Jeno, I need it, I need you,” Jaemin pants.

Jeno leans down to kiss him, and mercifully slides back inside of him. Jaemin moans into Jeno’s mouth, and wraps his arms around Jeno’s neck.

Jeno pulls away to start fucking Jaemin again, and he gasps.

“Jeno, please, I’m close.”

Jeno kisses him on the lips, a soft kiss that’s quite opposite to their current activity. “Come on, baby. You did such a good job. Made me feel so good. You can let go, baby.”

With a hard thrust into Jaemin’s heat, Jaemin lets out a loud cry and releases over his chest. His thighs tremble as he tries to calm himself down, but Jeno keeps pounding regardless of how overstimulated Jaemin is.

“Jeno-yah, inside. Inside,” He breathes out.

That, along with the image of a sweaty and debauched Jaemin underneath him is enough for Jeno to thrust deep inside of Jaemin and release. Jaemin sucks in a harsh breath at the feeling, and Jeno collapses on top of him.

“Wow.”

“Yeah. _Wow._ ”

Jeno’s limbs feel like lead. The adrenaline is fading and Jeno’s confidence is leaving too.

“That was…something.”

Jeno buries his face into Jaemin’s neck, and Jaemin runs a hand through Jeno’s sweaty hair. “That was hot.”

Jeno turns bright red, and makes a strangled noise. “Oh god.”

“Wow, babe, seriously. That was something else. I think I could get used to doing that more often.”

“Jaemin, please shut up.”

Jeno finally slides out of Jaemin after a few minutes, who scrunches his nose. “Ugh. I feel disgusting. I need to shower.”

“Me too. Come on.”

Jeno hoists Jaemin up into his arms, who yelps in surprise. Jeno laughs, and carries him into the shower. Jaemin’s legs are a little wobbly as he starts up the water, and leans against the shower wall. Jaemin is completely spent, and Jeno willingly takes responsibility. This is partially his fault, after all.

“Mhm. That was good.”

Jeno nods in agreement, wrapping his arms around Jaemin’s waist from behind and kissing his shoulder.

“You know, I could definitely see us doing that more often.”

“Yeah?”

Jaemin turns around and kisses Jeno on the lips. Jeno thinks he knows where this is going.

This is Jaemin, after all. And if Jeno knew anything about Jaemin, Jaemin is a little shit.

“Up for round two?”

Ah, there it is. Jeno smirks against his lips, and squeezes Jaemin’s butt. Jaemin gasps into his mouth, and arches onto Jeno.

Fuck. Jeno might actually be considering it.

Ultimately, Jeno hopes that the members aren’t home yet, and presses Jaemin up against the glass while leaning down to whisper in his ear.

“Alright, baby. Round two it is.”

* * *

Jeno is in love on a Saturday evening.

Or at least, he thinks so anyways.

It’s five o’clock, and Jeno should probably shower and get ready for dinner, but he can’t bring himself to move; not when Jaemin is draped all over him.

“Jeno-yah. You know what I’ve been thinking about?”

“What?”

“We should totally adopt a Samoyed.”

Jeno turns and looks at Jaemin. “You’re kidding?”

“No. Why would I be? The rest of them would probably agree. You know, I get sick of you guys sometimes.”

“That’s cruel.”

Jaemin kisses his nose. “Oh, don’t pretend like you don’t think I’m annoying.”

Jeno laughs. Touché. Jaemin is actually the most annoying person he’s ever met.

“Er, no comment.”

Jaemin huffs. “Well, anyways, I think we should actually consider it.”

“But we’re so busy.”

“Not after this year, we aren’t.”

Jeno pauses. “Oh. You have a point.”

“And so, what do you think?”

Jeno considers the idea. “If…if the other boys are alright with it, and the manager approves, we should.”

“Really? You’d help me?”

Jeno is so, _so,_ weak for Jaemin’s pleading eyes so of course he says yes. The day he intentionally puts a frown on Jaemin’s face is the day he is no longer Lee Jeno.

“Yes.”

Jaemin squeals in joy, and rolls out of Jeno’s arms. He bounces around Jeno’s room, and Jeno can’t even hide the fondness on his face. Jaemin pulls out his phone, and pulls up pictures of Samoyeds.

“Jeno-yah, they’re so cute!”

Jeno cracks a smile. “Am I going to be replaced?”

Jaemin coos, and crawls back into Jeno’s embrace. Jaemin pinches his cheeks, and Jeno can only cringe.

“No! Of course not. You’re my favorite!”

Jeno rolls his eyes. “I’m only your favorite when Jisung or Chenle aren’t around.”

“What? That’s not true! You’re my boyfriend!”

“That’s true, but you know, they always say, children before lovers.”

Jaemin throws his head back and laughs. He hits Jeno’s chest as he does so, which, Jeno wishes he did less often. Ninety-nine percent of the bruises on Jeno’s chest are from Jaemin hitting him as he laughs.

The other one percent are from other activities.

“Jeno. Are you perhaps, jealous, of our children?”

Jeno smacks him back.

But really, that sounds nice. _Our children._

Of course, Jisung and Chenle really are too old to be considered their children (more like little brothers) but it sounds so wonderful.

Jeno wonders what it’s like. He wonders what it would be like if somewhere in the future, he and Jaemin would get married and have a few little ones. Wow, domestic life sounds so pleasing.

“Jeno?”

“Huh?”

“What are you thinking about? You just, zoned out. Again. Tell me what’s on your mind.”

Jeno acquiesces, and sheepishly scratches the back of his head. “Well, I was just thinking about the future.”

“That’s very vague. What about the future?”

Jeno blushes heavily. “It’s really embarrassing, okay? I don’t—”

“Come on. I’ve seen you ass naked. What could be more embarrassing?”

“Oh, fuck you. Fine. I was thinking in the far, far, future, that maybe…we could get married. That we could, I don’t know, adopt a few kids. Live a normal life.”

Jaemin’s mouth is hanging agape. Jeno doesn’t know if that’s good or bad, so he just smiles awkwardly. “Sorry if I made it weird.”

“You want that? With me?”

Jeno is caught off guard by the question. “I mean, I guess so? It’d be great.”

Jaemin laughs breathlessly, and grabs Jeno’s face to plant a kiss on his lips. Jeno yelps in surprise, but kisses him back.

“What was that for?”

“That was for being the cutest human being ever. And this,” Jaemin kisses him again, “Is for having that thought.”

Jeno raises an eyebrow. “I didn’t know you wanted a future like that.”

“Pffft. Of course I do. Come on, tell me you don’t think about waking up to your kid stepping on your stomach.”

Jeno winces. “Uh, I really don’t.”

“In any case, that’s what you’ll be getting if you want kids.”

He sighs, and hugs Jaemin’s waist. “I guess it’s bearable as long as I have you.”

Jaemin makes a tiny strangled sound, and raises his head to look at Jeno. “Lee Jeno, did you just propose to me?”

“N-no! A-are you insane? I’m only nineteen, and you’re only nineteen—”

Jaemin giggles at his misery and squishes his cheeks together. Jeno wonders if Jaemin has an addiction to doing that.

“I’m messing with you. Calm down.”

Jaemin kisses his cheek, hands still cupping Jeno’s face. “But imagine. We get married. That’d be cool.”

Jeno huffs a laugh. It’s such a Jaemin thing to talk about getting married and calling it cool.

“It would.”

“Oh, Jeno. Imagine. A little girl and a little boy. A house in Busan near the beaches.”

“And a little Samoyed puppy,” Jeno finishes.

Jaemin squeals, and kisses Jeno on the lips again. He’s crushing Jeno just a little bit, but it’s a welcome weight on his chest.

“That would be the life. Jeno…maybe I’d like that.”

Jeno can see the shyness in Jaemin’s eyes.

“I’d like that too.”

It sounds like a promise. It sounds like a reality Jeno is willing to make come true. (He wants it just as much as Jaemin does.)

Jaemin giggles slightly, and presses their foreheads together. Jeno stares into Jaemin’s eyes for a few seconds before Jaemin speaks up. “So. In light of that, I’m waiting for the proposal. And the Samoyed, we should—”

Jeno shakes his head. “You really are so damn annoying.”

He reaches up, and presses his lips to Jaemin’s. Jaemin laughs a bit, but quickly sobers up to kiss Jeno back.

“Yeah, I know,” Jaemin whispers against his lips. “You love me anyways.”

Jeno mentally rolls his eyes, but puts a hand on Jaemin’s back to massage him anyways. Jaemin hums appreciatively, which tickles his lips just a bit.

“Okay, fine. You got me.”

Jaemin breaks away for a few seconds, their noses touching and lips just a hair’s width apart. “Hm. Knew it. I love you too.”

And without any further nonsensical bantering (good, because Jeno was really going to riot if Jaemin kept breaking their kisses), Jaemin softly presses their lips together again.

Oh yeah. That’s it. At this point, there is no doubt about it. This is love. This is loving Na Jaemin.

It is loving his warm smiles and his sunny disposition. It is loving all of his moods and all of his quirks and all of his wacky ideas (along with being forced to go along with them).

Jeno knows he’s in deep. But he doesn’t regret ever taking that plunge. The sea is warm anyways. And just like Jaemin’s love, it is welcoming, like a long embrace after a long day. It’s long-lasting and endless, vast and unbound.

But Jeno isn’t thinking about that anymore. (Let’s face it; Jeno simply doesn’t have the mental capacity to dwell on it any further.)

All he is thinking about is how Jaemin is curled up in his arms in his fuzzy sweater and kissing him gently while there’s incessant chatter outside (courtesy of Donghyuck) providing a somewhat ambient background, and how regardless that it is winter and there’s fresh snow still falling outside—

It is like loving on a summer’s day.

**Author's Note:**

> well. okay um first time writing something like this, don't exactly know how I feel about it. well, please don't let it flop because that will hurt my fragile heart :') 
> 
> anyways, I wrote this because I have a lot of time on my hands now since class has been canceled from covid-19. please stay safe guys!
> 
> also! an edit! feel free to follow me on twitter and scream at me about nomin! @nanamians


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